I'm Dreaming of Our First Christmas
by Melody4
Summary: As Christmas approaches, Duo and Hilde each reflect upon their first months of marriage.


I'm Dreaming of Our First Christmas

By Melody

The sunny but mild spring day had been as perfect as a wedding day could be: bright, with pleasant light breezes and the air was perfumed by the sweet scent of the lilac bushes which grew thickly around the east wing of the imposing Peacecraft Palace. It had been seven months since the newlyweds had left the private chapel in a shower of rice and good wishes; they had never felt happier. Hilde recalled all of the events of that whole precious day when she had promised to love him always; she had been doing this a lot lately, perhaps too often, but she wanted to remember the happy first months of their marriage.

A delicate red ornament slipped from her fingers and smashed on the white ceramic tile floor as she tried to put a hook through the tiny wire loop. Normally, such an incident would have sent her to the closet for the broom, not giving it a second thought, but today it was just one thing too many. She put the hook back in the box and sighed. She had never thought that she would decorate the first Christmas tree they'd had since they were married, feeling so lost and weary as she decorated it all alone.

She sat down, her elbows on her knees and cupping her chin in her hands. She stared at the tree that would not decorate itself and decided to pull herself together. After all, moping wouldn't help Duo to spend more time with her.

That morning as he had quickly pecked her cheek and told her that he'd call if he could be home for supper he had suggested that she decorate the tree before he came home. Hilde had been so dumbfounded by his suggestion, having thought that they would do this together, that she just mumbled an agreeable-sounding "Um-hm" and let him leave without saying anything about it.

"This is not the way a bride should feel!" she shouted inside her head. The tea kettle's whistle interrupted her thoughts and she walked slowly to the kitchen to take a break.

As she filled the infuser full of the fragrant, loose herbs she thought, "You know, Duo never has tea when_ I _make it. He says he prefers coffee. But when _Relena_ makes tea Duo _always_ has some!" She was thinking of the enjoyable times when they had visited with their friends in the cozy suite of rooms of the Peacecraft Palace, remembering that Duo had never refused Relena's offer of refreshment, whether piping hot in winter or iced and served in tall, frosty glasses in the warm weather. "What's wrong with me? I will _not_ be jealous over tea," she said aloud. "That's just being silly." She left the tea to steep and went to stand in front of the Christmas tree; it looked lonely there by itself and she decided that she would have it beautifully decorated before Duo came home. She tired easily so she had to take frequent breaks, but the thought that the pretty tree would make him smile made her determined to get it done, and he smiled so rarely these days. She was ashamed of herself for indulging in a 'pity-party'. She stood straight, shoulders back, and headed for the broom closet.

Hilde was asleep on the couch when Duo walked into their living room late that night. For the last few weeks she was asleep more often than not when he got home, but the difference that night was that the cozy room was dimly lit with one small lamp and the tree was glittering with glass ornaments and twinkling, multi-colored lights.

"It must've taken her all day to do that," he thought to himself, and he was right. He hadn't considered how much work went into decorating a tree when he had suggested that she do it by herself. "I should've told her to wait till I could help her."

Duo turned off the lamp and sat on the floor next to where Hilde lay and leaned back against the cushion upon which she slept, staring at the tree's festive lighting but not really seeing it as his thoughts wandered. They had spent so many Christmases apart while Hilde had been away at college that he wanted this first Christmas of their marriage to be extra-special. He remembered how happy she had been when she received her college scholarship, though the thought of being separated for the four years of courses because of the distance and lack of extra money was sobering to both of them. Duo hadn't known how much she meant to him until she went away. As the months passed he had realized that he wanted her to be more than his roommate, though he didn't want to admit it. During that time she had been able to visit him only once, and that was for New Year's Eve two years ago. He had decided that he'd enough of being alone when Hilde's last year of study was coming to a close, so he had finally and suddenly proposed to her and told her that he loved her via the vid-phone. Hilde had been greatly surprised--though not as surprised as he was, with the words popping out of his mouth without his permission--and delighted, by this backward proposal-and-declaration-of-love combination. Duo had spent the time just prior to Hilde's graduation relaying wedding preparation instructions to Relena, who had offered the use of the palace's chapel and was available to help because she had resigned from her duty as Vice-Foreign Minister when her first child was about to be born. Duo had been determined to marry Hilde right away after she returned from college so he had met his bride-to-be at the spaceport and took her directly to the charming little chapel for the simple ceremony. It was nice that she'd had the opportunity to study and he couldn't begrudge her that, but he was so glad when the lonely time was over.

A dark shadow had cast itself upon their first year of marriage because only a few months after their honeymoon Hilde had become mysteriously ill. It started out as a minor ear infection but one morning several days after she had seen the doctor she'd told Duo that she was too tired to get out of bed; it was then that her young husband began to worry. Her fever was rising and her stomach began to hurt when she sat up, so she stayed in bed except for when she visited the doctor, who didn't know what was making her sick. When she began sleeping most of the time, weak and feverish, her stomach began to hurt no matter what position she was in so Duo took her back to the doctor and demanded that he find out what was wrong. By this time her skin had begun to look yellowy and the 'stomach' pain turned out to be an enlarged liver. She was admitted to the hospital that night, where it was determined that she had jaundice because of an allergic reaction to the medication she had been given for the ear infection.

Duo had stayed by her bedside while she was in the hospital, even though she insisted in a soft, strained voice which he could hardly hear that she would be all right and that he didn't have to miss work just to watch her being sick. But he ignored that and stayed anyway.

Hilde was allowed to go home a few days later and she began the long road to recovery. Duo had intended to insist that she quit working so that she could stay home and get well but he didn't have to; she was too weak to even think about working. So he had hired someone to clean the house once a week and started working overtime to make up for the lost income.

Quatre had come to stay to watch over her and after a few weeks she showed enough improvement that Duo was comfortable letting her be at home alone.

Duo stood up and looked at his sleeping wife for a long time. He was concerned because he had noticed that she was sleeping more than she had been and was afraid that she was having a relapse. He'd even told her that he thought she should see the doctor about it but she just dismissed his suggestion with, "Don't be silly. I'll be just fine."

As he scooped her up Hilde murmured sleepily, "Did you see the tree?"

"Yeah, I sure did. It's beautiful," Duo answered as he carried her up the stairs. He set her down on the bed and had turned to get her nightgown out of the dresser when she touched his sleeve to get his attention.

"I'm so glad you liked it," Hilde said with a yawn. "I tried to stay awake for when you came home but I just couldn't."

Duo gently ran his hand over her hair. "That's okay," he said. "It must've taken most of the day for you to decorate that tree." She nodded reluctantly; she had not wanted him to know how much of an effort it had been and had decided not to tell him but she had to admit to it when he'd said it outright. "I should have come home early and helped you. I just thought it would be something different to keep you busy because you've been getting so bored with reading and doing crossword puzzles. I didn't realize how tiring it would be for you."

"That's okay," she reassured him, and she realized that it _was_ okay now that he had explained the reason behind his telling her to decorate the tree without him. She smiled at him when she realized that he _had_ been thinking about her after all.

Duo lay awake in the dark for a long time, lying on his back with his hands behind his head, elbows out, and thinking. Life was too short to work each day until he could work no more and being constantly exhausted. He wanted to spend more time with his wife; he knew she would be happy if he were home in the evenings as he used to be. He had been feverishly building a nest egg for them and as he went over the figures from their bank account in his head he decided that his days of working overtime were in the past.

Hilde carried a tray loaded with Christmas goodies from the kitchen to the sunny living room. She'd also brought a steaming hot teapot and the dishes needed for tea for two. She thought that on Christmas Day he would not refuse the tea she made; surely she made it as well as Relena could, it wasn't all _that_ difficult. She set the tray down on the coffee table. "I brought you some tea," she said, waiting to see what he would say.

"I really don't want any," he replied.

"Why not? Are you afraid that I won't make it as well as Relena does?" she queried as she sat down next to him on the couch.

"No. The problem is, um, well, the problem is I really don't like tea very much," he admitted for the first time to _anyone_.

"But you always drink it when Relena serves it."

"That doesn't mean I like it."

"You mean that you've been drinking tea for years even though you don't like it?" This was a revelation to her. It amazed her that she didn't know this about him after so many years.

"If you want to know the truth, I can't stand the stuff," he responded bluntly.

"Then why in the world do you drink it when we're visiting Heero and Relena?" Hilde asked incredulously.

"The first time she gave me some tea I said I liked it to be polite, and I had to dump a lot of sugar into it to even be able to say that," Duo responded sheepishly; his expression reminded her of a naughty boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "She was so happy that I liked the tea because it was a special blend of the herbs from her herb garden, which was her pride and joy. So every time she served it with that happy smile I didn't dare to say I didn't want any. And after all the cups of tea I drank just to be polite I can't tell her now that I hate tea 'cause I'd look like a fool. So I just keep drinkin' the awful stuff."

The funny side of this sent Hilde into peals of laughter and she laughed until she cried. Duo joined in; it was so good to see her so happy. How long had it been since he had seen her eyes sparkle that way?

"You won't tell Relena, will you?" he asked cautiously with a conspiratorial tone in his voice.

Hilde put her arms around his neck. "It'll be our secret," she promised. "And I won't laugh when you have to make yourself drink Relena's tea." Duo was relieved to hear that. "Oh, I want to give you your present." She brought a square box to him. "Here. This is something really special."

Duo untied the gold ribbon and removed the shiny white paper. It was a plain box without any writing on it. He removed the tape and inside he found that it was full of white tissue paper but apart from that the box seemed to be empty. It was extremely light.

Hilde watched her husband intently, her violet eyes shining. "There _is_ something in there," she assured him. "You know how you were saying that I should see the doctor because I've been sleeping more," she explained as he peeled the tissue paper away from his present. "Well, he says this is why." Nestled inside the white paper were two pair of baby booties, one pink and the other blue.

Duo's initial reaction was joyful as the meaning of the gift dawned on him, but that quickly changed to concern. "Did the doctor say you were strong enough to be havin' a baby and it won't, be too much for you?" he asked cautiously; he had deliberately not said the word 'kill,' but that's what he was thinking.

"The doctor says that I'm healthy enough so we won't have to worry about me dying," she said, as though reading his mind. "I just have to take it easy and not overdo." She waited a moment for his reaction. "Well?" she prompted expectantly when he didn't say anything.

"That makes me feel a whole lot better," Duo responded slowly as he pulled her onto his lap. "But I don't have to be there for the birth, do I?"

Hilde was shocked. "Of course you do!"

"I'm just jokin'," he chuckled as he hugged her tightly. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

The End

The author claims no ownership of Gundam Wing, nor any of its characters. Gundam Wing is the property of Sunrise, Sotsu Agency and TV Asahi.

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